


i'm so desperate calling out your name

by oceanicspirit



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 17:11:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanicspirit/pseuds/oceanicspirit
Summary: the loss of a loved one, always hits the hardest





	i'm so desperate calling out your name

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read if you have not watched Infinity War, this fic does contain spoilers  
> For those who have watched the movie, please proceed with caution

_ Steve? _

It felt like he was back in the 40s, on that HYDRA train trying to capture Zola. Bucky’s hand reaching out for his, but it was too late and he let his best friend fall.

_ Now _

Now, he felt like he failed Bucky again. He couldn’t save him.

_ All I had to do was reach for his hand _

He sunk to his knees as his best friend disappeared before his very eyes. 

*****

Natasha was breathing heavily. She saw some of the warriors of Wakanda disappearing. She feared, she was  _ terrified _ .

_ Please God, tell me he’s still here. Don’t take him, take me instead. _

She spotted him, and quickly sprinted to him, not minding Bruce, Rhodey and Rocket Raccoon, or the lifeless body of Vision. She looked down to make sure he was still there...and he was. 

_ Thank God  _

She wouldn't know what to do had she lost him.

*****

The walk back to the palace was quiet and grim. She doesn't blame the other warriors, they had just lost their king, she prayed that Shuri was still there.

“Okoye,” they all looked up and saw the princess running towards them with the last remaining kingsguard and Dora Milaje. 

“My princess,” Okoye was slightly relieved, at least one royalty remained. “You're brother..the king.”

Shuri’s eyes widened. She swallowed back the tears and nodded. “Everyone get inside and get your wounds treated.”

Natasha felt bad for the young woman. Now the responsibility of the Black Panther fell upon her shoulders as well as the title of being queen. 

*****

Steve looked down as the hot water sprayed onto his body. The scene of Bucky disappearing kept replaying in his mind. He felt angry and guilty. Not only had he lost Bucky but also Sam as well. He lost both of his friends and brothers. He wanted to cry because he felt so alone right now. 

It wasn't until the water became cold that Steve stepped out of the shower and changed into a pair of sweats and a grey shirt. He sat on the bed and looked at the ground. 

“Steve?” He looked up and spotted Natasha. “Your hair is red again.”

“Thanks,” she smiled and sat next to him. “You okay?”

He let out an lifeless laugh like. “Am I okay? Am I okay?! I just lost Bucky  _ again _ . I couldn't do anything  _ again _ . And to make matters worse, I lost Sam too.” The weight of the loses were crushing him. “Why…why can't I ever save the people I care about?”

Natasha straddled his hips and cupped his face. “I'm here Steve. I'm still here.”

He reached out for her. Her soft skin underneath his fingers. She guided his hand to her chest. He felt her heartbeat underneath the palm of his hand. 

“Don't ever leave me Nat.  _ Please  _ don't… I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you too.”

“You won't ever.”

Steve watched her pull his dog tags out from her shirt, and dangling alongside his tags were their wedding rings. 

“I made a promise to you Steve. That I would  _ always  _ stay by your side.”

“Natasha…”

She pressed her lips against his own and they fell onto the bed. Clothes were thrown all over the room and they gave themselves to one another. 

*****

Steve found himself walking cold and  _ alone _ . He panicked and looked around. 

“Natasha? Love where are you?” He got up and looked inside the bathroom. “Nat? Please God no.” His heart was racing and his eyes widened as he looked into the mirror. He saw grey specs on his naked chest. 

Instantly he ran back to his bed and pulled the covers over. There….were Natasha had laid in his arms…now there were a pile of dust that laid in her wake. And on top of that pile laid his dog tags and their wedding rings. Steve felt his heart break and the world crumple around him. He grabbed his tags and dropped onto the floor. His loud sobs filled the room. 

_ Why?  _

_ Why is it that the people I care about always leave?  _

He had lost his parents 

Lost his friends and brothers

And now

_ Now _ he lost the love of his life

He felt rage

He felt anger

“I'll kill him,” he gripped his tags and their wedding rings, “I'm going to rip his fucking head off.”


End file.
